in the mist

With everything happening so that I can transition to the next chapter of my life, I have felt like I am in a cloud of mist that goes on for miles and miles. I can’t see what’s ahead of me, and I can’t turn around and go back because I can’t see behind me either. Because I cannot just sit down in the middle of the mist and stay there forever, I’m forced to at least keep going to see where I end up. Oh yeah and, in this hypothetical mist, I’m alone. No one can help me get to my destination besides myself.

The journey to get a post-secondary education might be one of the hardest things I have done, but it is almost like I’ve been going to school for 12 years already, it would be like I was slapping myself in the face if I didn’t take it further. Plus, I kind of don’t want to be a bum. The negative outcomes of not going to college is what’s pushing me further. I think that’s what’s making it hard to continue. There’s only negative thoughts in my head of what could happen every time I decide I’ve procrastinated too long and I need to do my homework already, or when I really don’t want to fail and need to study, and when I need to write an essay for a scholarship so I won’t be in college debt up to my ears.

In the end, I know it will all be worth it. I just want to help people by solving crimes in a little laboratory one day.

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