up for debate

Being someone who is scrolling through twitter at almost any waking moment, a fatal flaw I have witnessed among my fellow tweeters is the inability to accept someone else’s opinion for what it is or just theoretically walk away. Now I have always said I won’t accept a shitty opinion. One that is racist, misogynist, or homophobic. If you possess any opinions of the such, I believe those you should keep to yourself and have a self examination while you’re at it. Those are the opinions worth dragging someone across the timeline by their collar for. You may even see me there participating in such dragging. (Because I’m working on myself, I try not to engage in online arguments but if it is just needed, I’ll do so). This post is titled “up for debate” because it is perfectly fine to debate various topics in a way that is respectful and without criticism of a person’s intelligence. Coming for a person’s intelligence or physical appearance because you do not agree with their opinion only shows your inability to back up your side of the argument with valid facts so you fill in the space with insults which only exhibits pure ignorance.

If someone’s personal opinions does not affect you in any way, why start an intense argument over it? I’m sure I can answer that question with the possibility of the person being an internet troll who does it for attention or out of boredom maybe. I wish I had enough time in the day as those people but fortunately if I did I would spend it in a way that would promote self-growth. I’m known to be a very opinionated person and I started being that way around my sophomore year of high school. Sometimes I hate being “that girl” but once you’re labeled as something there isn’t really much going back so I continue to be who I am. People have talked to my friends about the things I like to discuss online even which is crazy to me. I’m not sure why being opinionated is something people try to avoid being as long as you’re doing it in a positive way. I talk about race relations and how corrupt the government is. It is all talk about how I want things to be better for everyone. In closing, this brings me to one of my favorite quotes “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” – Desmond Tutu





These past few weeks have made me realize a change in myself that shows growth and maturity. All my life, I’ve been dramatic. I have turned everything into a big deal worth crying and whining over for as long as I can remember. Just this morning, tears were running down my face at my job. I know you’re thinking “Weren’t you just saying you changed?” and yes. That little detail does not erase my previous statement because well, I hadn’t taken my happy pill in a few days. Which this brings me to wonder, have I actually matured, or has the introduction of medication into my life made me numb and unable to react? I think it is a mixture of both. Even when I haven’t taken it for a while, I don’t feel like crying when things go wrong I kind of shrug it off and keep moving. Don’t get me wrong, I still am aware that things are going terrible I just seem to be able to wrap my head around it.

I have been looking back on my short life reminiscing on how far I’ve come. I can’t count how many times I was so sure my world was falling apart all around me. If that was really the case, I made it through every single Armageddon. I see that I am strong and always have been. I’v been through so much that I feel others would crumble apart if they endured the same. I can’t say any of this without giving all credit to God. He made me this way and picked me up every time I fell. Every time I cried I felt that he was listening. I always do this thing where I cry and imagine Jesus hugging me and wiping my tears. It seems silly, but it helps. Not a lot of people know just the extent of my issues and struggles in life, although I’d be happy to tell anyone who wants to listen. But I know I have it great compared to some. I hope that anyone who takes the time to read this takes something away from it and maybe gets a little inspiration.



in the mist

With everything happening so that I can transition to the next chapter of my life, I have felt like I am in a cloud of mist that goes on for miles and miles. I can’t see what’s ahead of me, and I can’t turn around and go back because I can’t see behind me either. Because I cannot just sit down in the middle of the mist and stay there forever, I’m forced to at least keep going to see where I end up. Oh yeah and, in this hypothetical mist, I’m alone. No one can help me get to my destination besides myself.

The journey to get a post-secondary education might be one of the hardest things I have done, but it is almost like I’ve been going to school for 12 years already, it would be like I was slapping myself in the face if I didn’t take it further. Plus, I kind of don’t want to be a bum. The negative outcomes of not going to college is what’s pushing me further. I think that’s what’s making it hard to continue. There’s only negative thoughts in my head of what could happen every time I decide I’ve procrastinated too long and I need to do my homework already, or when I really don’t want to fail and need to study, and when I need to write an essay for a scholarship so I won’t be in college debt up to my ears.

In the end, I know it will all be worth it. I just want to help people by solving crimes in a little laboratory one day.